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Skinny Love

Bon Iver

Album For Emma, Forever Ago

“Bon Iver” is an American indie folk band from Wisconsin, founded by singer-songwriter Justin Vernon in 2006. The name “Bon Iver” is taken from the French term “bon hiver” meaning “good winter”. There are five members of Bon Iver: Justin Vernon, Sean Carey, Michael Lewis, Andrew Fitzpatrick and Matthew McCaughan.

In 2006, Vernon moved to his father’s isolated cabin in Dunn County, Wisconsin. He moved there primarily to try and heal from previous events in his life like not only a breakup of a relationship, but also the breakup of a previous band he was in (DeYarmond Edison) as well as a bout of mononucleosis hepatitis. It was in this cabin that Vernon wrote Bon Iver’s first album (and arguably their best) “For Emma, Forever Ago”, and wrote, recorded and played everything himself, without the help or aid of producers. “Skinny Love” is the third track off the album and probably the most well-known and popular song of the band’s. Despite it only having two verses, the song still manages to be extremely heart wrenching and relatable.

“Come on, skinny love, just last the year
Pour a little salt, we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in this moment, this order’s tall”

The first verse starts with the namesake of the song: “Skinny Love”. With an interview with Pitchfork, Vernon explained the phrase “skinny love” as not having weight: “Skinny love doesn’t have a chance because it’s malnourished”. Vernon is hoping it will last a little longer, at least for the rest of the year, and hopes that by pouring salt, it’s healing properties will help heal the wound that is the relationship, as if it never happened. The “my, my, my…” line could be a reference to when an individual says “oh my” in shock. “Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer” could be alluding to the fragility of the relationship in the song. He wants his lover to ruin the relationship, and to just let him go and fall; to give up on him. But, he knows that in this moment this a big thing to ask of his lover (this order’s tall).

“And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And in the morning I’ll be with you
But it will be a different kind
And I’ll be holding all the tickets
And you’ll be owning all the fines”

The chorus shows Vernon as an extremely bossy and demanding lover, telling his lover how to act. Perhaps this is just him telling the lover how to act with him, to his patience while he’s in a dark time of his life. He’ll still be with his lover in the morning, despite him feeling as if that they haven’t been all the things they wanted them to be, so it will feel different. And because of this, he’ll be giving the lover “tickets” that she needs to pay the fines for – which could mean that Vernon is blaming the lover for the fact that he is feeling this way or that this is why the relationship is “skinny”.

“Come on, skinny love, what happened here?
Suckle on the hope in light brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen, load is full, so slow on the split”

The second verse is Vernon trying to figure out why the relationship turned sour, and how he’s still holding onto the relationship hopefully via the form of physical intimacy: “in light brassiere”. “Sullen, load is full, so slow on the split”, could be referring to how Vernon felt he had a lot going on in his life and in his mind, so he was slow to split the relationship.

“And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And now all your love is wasted
And then who the hell was I?
And I’m breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines”

The chorus repeats again, but with the last four lines different from the first. Vernon feels as if the lover’s love towards him has been wasted and was this entire time, leading him to question and think about his own identity and whether he was of any worth to her. He’s now breaking at the “britches” which is another term for trousers, so using imagery to further emphasize how him and this relationship are falling apart, but he’s still being held onto by his lover, but that is breaking too.

“Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?”

The final verse of the song is fairly ambiguous, as it’s not made clear whether these are questions Vernon is asking himself or the lover. If directed towards himself, it could be viewed as the beginning of the breakup and mourning period of the relationship; if it’s directed towards the lover (maybe now ex-lover), it could be Vernon firing back at them, asking them how they’ll ever find someone who will love and fight for them, and fall behind for them like he did.

There is no official music video for the song, despite its immense popularity.

Release Date: 8th July 2007

Songwriter/s: Justin Vernon

Album: For Emma, Forever Ago (2008)

Genre: Rock, Indie, Folk

Chart Rankings (2011- 2014): #2 in Australia, #15 in Austria, #3 in Belgium Ultratop 50 Flanders Charts, #4 in Belgium Ultratop #50 Wallonia, #2 in France, #73 in Germany, #22 in Ireland, #29 in Japan, #2 in the Netherlands Dutch Top 40, #1 in the Netherlands Single Top 100, #2 in New Zealand, #88 in Poland, #17 in Scotland on the Offical Charts Company, #19 in Switzerland, #17 in the UK Singles Charts, #37 in the US Billboard Adult Top 40, #40 in the Alternative Songs chart, and #24 in the Hot Rock Songs chart.

Certifications: 7x Platinum in Australia, Platinum in Belgium, Gold in Canada, Platinum in Denmark, Platinum in France, Platinum in Italy, Gold in Switzerland, and Platinum in the US and the UK.

Added by Tala Woods

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    Mark

    December 9, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    I think this is a song about holding onto a love that never had a chance – the problem is that you’re in love, so you have to fight for it, even if you no longer believe it has a chance. The singer is a bossy but introspective girl, who tries to understand her lover’s faults. She understands that he is imperfect, and forgives him – trie to help him somewhat like a parent to a child. “What happened here?” – She’s saying it’s beyond her – she really doesn’t understand but she’s trying. “Tell my love to wreck it all” she’s ready to be cut loose, to be thrown under the bus – if that’s what he wants. It’s not her trying to push the blame onto him, rather in her deep trust and helplessness before him. She just wants him to be happy, no matter what that means to him.
    She wants him to open up, but his distance has wrecked their relationship. She feels that he is somewhat self-destructive, and while she can survive the destruction of their relationship, she doesn’t think that he can – and she’s trying to help him, even though it’s hurting her too.
    She encourages him to talk to her, and she’s shocked by the state of things – how they went this far. She somewhat blames herself for all of it because she’s so controlling – and she’s trying to make it right between them. But in her heart, she knows that it’s a losing battle.

      J

      July 10, 2020 at 12:49 am

      Very interesting insight!

      Carmen

      July 22, 2020 at 8:27 am

      You just described my last relationship and spoke to me in a different way. Thank you

      Mustafa Saadi

      November 24, 2020 at 1:56 pm

      It’s a “he”. The author and original singer of the song is a male.

      Sad

      November 26, 2020 at 4:50 am

      Not my take on it at all.
      To me, this song is little more metaphoric than that.
      It pulls at my heart strings as I have recently lost a loved one to drug addition. I watched as he wasted away. “Skinny love” . The doctors gave him a year to live, he lasted 3.
      The pleading for him to be “balanced” and “kind” sounds like that of a person in a loving but sadly abusive relationship. When one partner is trying desperately to calm the other’s hurtful and erratic and self destructive behaviour. I wouldn’t say bossy, I’d say desperate and full of remorse for not being able to help the suffering “skinny love”.

      Yeppers

      April 15, 2021 at 9:16 pm

      I like this explanation best.

    Chris

    May 30, 2020 at 7:44 pm

    I thought the first word “morning” was “mourning”

    Aurora Musisko

    September 25, 2020 at 2:14 pm

    Well if you look at it it says “now in the morning I’ll be with you but I will be a different kind” makes me think about this as someone thinking about Suicide and wanting their partner to know that they are there but a new form.

    Sad

    November 26, 2020 at 4:48 am

    Not my take on it at all.
    To me, this song is little more metaphoric than that.
    It pulls at my heart strings as I have recently lost a loved one to drug addition. I watched as he wasted away. “Skinny love” . The doctors gave him a year to live, he lasted 3.
    The pleading for him to be “balanced” and “kind” sounds like that of a person in a loving but sadly abusive relationship. When one partner is trying desperately to calm the other’s hurtful and erratic and self destructive behaviour. I wouldn’t say bossy, I’d say desperate and full of remorse for not being able to help the suffering “skinny love”.

      Suffering

      March 8, 2021 at 5:29 pm

      I totally agree with you. I’m watching someone I love waste away to drugs. This song reminds me of him so much.

    Gerard

    January 16, 2021 at 8:18 am

    You nailed it Mark. Thank you for your insight. Just “been there, done that” for the last three years. Totally wasted now and too old to start over. Better luck to you all & Namaste..

    Alyse

    March 28, 2021 at 3:15 am

    I hear this song as an ode to a woman who he perceives as being unable to control her feelings of insecurity and her need to grasp and lash out at him, and he’s asking her not to do that, because it’s a ‘skinny love’ and he’s doing his best, but is she keeps lashing out, it’ll all be wasted. That, or she should just cut the final cut and end the relationship.

    David Boatwright

    April 24, 2021 at 9:38 pm

    I think he walked in to his girlfriends corpse via suicide. She did it in a bathroom and his many delusional thoughts post death include the possibility of preserving her body with salt for a year and maybe somehow that day would go away because that moment is just too tall to deal with. He’s dealing with her death in away that he’s angry at her and himself but also feels guilty. He told her to just deal with her pain by being patient, balanced and he’d be there for her when she wakes up each day to keep being there for her to battle this depression, it’s just not the way he thought he’d be there this day (a different kind) meaning that he’s living and she’s dead. Now he has all the guilt (holding all the tickets from all the fines or pain she had that he couldn’t fix) “suckle on the hope in light brassiere” is him looking at her beautiful body on the ground but, “sullen load is full” means that a dark reality is setting in slowly as he’s realizing her death will cause their spiritual split (slow on the split). Now he’s angry again because she left him and he’s saying that their love should have been enough for her to hold on for him…it must have been her Lying to him about loving him the whole time and now that she’s dead, who will love her and be there. Who will she have now to leave far behind!

    This is one of the most powerful songs I’ve ever heard and I believe with all my heart that this is the meaning, but if others feel that it’s not this dark, then I at least they can feel the power I feel from what’re interpretation they may have.

      David Boatwright

      April 24, 2021 at 9:53 pm

      I don’t think “ skinny love” (the title) has much meaning other than she was a thin built female, but perhaps her depression stemmed from anorexia or a body dysphoria that drove her to this point. Could’ve been drugs as well, but my interpretation is selfish in that I feel the mans pain of loving someone so much and not having the power or understanding of how to fix her….and only questioning “why isn’t our love enough”…why am I not enough to make you happy the way you are enough to make me happy enough to fight for every day we could have with one another.

    Rani

    September 2, 2021 at 6:56 am

    My best friend just passed of Covid yesterday morning. We sang this song together frequently with harmonies, and it meant so much to me. The relationship we had with each other was rocky, and this song completely described it. Now that she’s gone, I can’t help but cry when I think of it.

    Ntarry

    December 9, 2021 at 12:20 pm

    Well l want to make a picture video edit using this song.All your many insights have been very insightful.Its a very beautiful albeit sad song and l’ve decided to depict the skinny love not between 2 lovers but between a girl and her weight ,a girl and her beauty and a boy and his selfconciousness

    Jenni

    November 5, 2022 at 11:35 pm

    It’s a couple in a dysfunctional relationship that needs to end. The singer knows it (maybe both know), but they can’t. These relationships are addictive. It’s a “skinny love” meaning it has no depth & can easily dissolve (pour a little salt, we were never here).

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